This article appeared in the Feb. 9, 2007 issue of the Interlake Spectator…
Relaxation massage, pressure point therapy, reflexology, Hawaiian, Chinese, and deep tissue massage: Debbie MacIntosh incorporates all of these into her work as a masseuse at the Beauty Garden Spa, in Gimli.
“The more courses I take, the more it evolves,” said MacIntosh, “but my main focus is whole body healing massage.”
MacIntosh, now 46 years old, has been a masseuse since 1995. She took her initial training at The College of Natural Healing Arts, in Alberta, where she began by studying foot reflexology. She soon followed this with courses in other forms of massage and healing.
“I read an article in Newsweek that said North America is the most touch-deprived society in the world,” said MacIntosh. She believes that an excellent way to answer the need for touch is through massage. “ It gives the body huge benefits, health-wise, too.”
“What we are missing in life is touch, but I am not talking about sexual touch,” she said. “There is a huge difference between sexual and sensual touch. Sensual massage tends to be more about intimacy.”
MacIntosh suggests that, people’s busy lives get in the way of intimacy, and learning how to give a massage is the perfect way for couples to reconnect with each other. Setting aside regular time for massage provides a calm and comfortable backdrop for getting caught up with your partner’s life. “It provides a relaxing time to talk about the little things you’ve been putting on hold,” she said.
MacIntosh shares some simple techniques that anyone can learn to do. All one needs to start with is a block of time, a towel or yoga mat to put on the floor, and some oil, or lotion, for the massage (olive, grape seed or sweet almond are best, but canola oil will do). To enhance intimacy, a few drops of pure essential oil, such as ylang ylang, sandalwood, patchouli, or rose can be added to the oil. MacIntosh’s preference is “Sultan’s Night”, a blend made with sandalwood and sweet orange.
Since massage involves all the senses, it is important to create a place that is inviting. MacIntosh suggests low light, perhaps scented candles, and classical or instrumental music playing quietly in the back ground. Any music with water sounds, babbling brooks or ocean waves, is ideal during a massage, said MacIntosh.
“Once you have set up the room, have your partner lay down, with their arms along their sides, and do some nice, slow, deep breathing. Don’t worry about whether you have the talent for massage,” she said. “If you’ve created the right atmosphere, your partner may already be relaxed, and the rest will be an exploration.”
“Never pour the oil straight on your partner’s body. It’s cold. Just pour a little into your palm and rub your hands together to warm it up,” she suggests.
“Start at the base of the spine and rub in a circular motion with the palm of your hands.” MacIntosh warns that the spine, itself, should never be massaged, only the muscles on either side of it.
“Slowly glide your hands upward, and cup your hands around your partner’s shoulders, then down their arms. Repeat this move four or five times.”
“Return your hands to the base of the spine, and push them outward toward the hips. Continue this motion all the way up to your partner’s shoulders. Repeat this four times.”
“Next, run your hands up either side of their spine, to the shoulders, rest your forearms on their back and, while dragging them down, tap your fingers on your partner’s back, as you would if you were typing. The contrast between the smooth contact and the tapping invigorates the nerve endings.”
“Again, from the base of the spine, with palms flat, criss-cross up to the top of your partner’s back, then slowly drag your hands down to the base…By now, the nerve endings have become hypersensitive. The slow, dragging motion deepens the sense of relaxation and feeling of well-being,” she explained.
The next step is to do the legs, one at a time, followed by the arms and the hands.
“We use our hands daily, and we don’t realize how much tension is in our hands until we start massaging them,” said MacIntosh. “With your partner’s hand face up in your palms, massage with your thumbs, in a circular motion.”
MacIntosh and warns that it might be necessary to take turns giving the massage on different nights. “You’ve probably rendered your partner incapable of reciprocating right after you’ve massaged them,” she said.
Couples can look at regular massage-giving as a lifestyle activity which enhances the quality of their relationship. “It’s not just for once a year,” she emphasized. “Couples should do sensual massage as often as possible,” she said. “It makes people happy. Maybe [they] can learn to laugh again.”
Ultimately, sensual massage might come to replace the marriage counsellor, when partners have drifted apart psychologically. Or, it might just help to brighten up a marriage that has lost some of its vitality.
