Article appeared in the Dec. 22, 2011 issue of the Interlake Spectator…
Aaaah, Christmas! Snowy rooftops, beautiful lights, all our presents wrapped and ready. For many, Christmas is a time when our cares are set aside, and friends and family gather to live out years of tradition. Children play and laugh. Adults ready the feast. It can be a joyous, happy time of year.
But the Yuletide scene is not quite so glowing for some. People struggle with isolation, illness, poverty, family dysfunction, and addictions. For many, Christmas is the season of outright misery, not celebration, when year after year, families may play out negative scenarios, which do nothing but poison the holiday for everyone.
Alcohol is a culprit in many bad Christmas scenes. Someone pours a celebratory drink, and then another, and then another. Soon, no one is celebrating. Arguments ensue, blame is bantered about, tempers flare, someone storms out, or worse, stays and escalates the situation.
The joy of Christmas has been snuffed out. The impact on children who witnessed the scene, or worse, is a great tragedy. They deserve better.
Averting unhappy scenes before they happen may be a strategy worth trying. If you are hosting a gathering, try limiting the amount of alcohol that is made available, and gently enforce some basic rules, like not consuming alcohol on an empty stomach, pacing out cocktails, and keeping the atmosphere happy and positive.
Don’t make alcohol the focus of festivities. Board games, dancing, and lively conversation are much better focal points which encourage positive interaction between all age groups. Have these at the ready, lest they get lost in the shuffle and forgotten when the guests arrive. Keep the volume of the music or television low enough so that people can hear each other talk.
Remember to put the well-being of children first–let them enjoy the best of Christmas. Don’t saddle them with bad memories they will carry around for the rest of their lives.
Christmas is a time of giving, but also a time when everyone wants to feel a little special. Even if you cannot afford a gift, a kind and helpful gesture will go a long way. If a family member is ill or estranged, remember them with a card or phone call. Life is too short to hold grudges.
If, despite all your efforts, the situation becomes too much, consider reaching out for help. There are many resources available in your community, like drop-in centres, crisis help lines, hospitals, and food banks.
Other sources for help are organizations like the Addictions Foundation of Manitoba, Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon (for those living in dysfunctional situations), Anxiety Disorders Association of Manitoba (ADAM), and others.
Don’t suffer alone, even if you are alone. If you have internet access there is sure to be a chat room open on-line somewhere in cyber space. Reach out.
Other resources:
Domestic Violence Crisis Line, 1 877 977-0007; Manitoba Suicide Line, 1 877 435-7170; Teen Touch Crisis Line, 1 800 563-8336; Kids Help Phone Line, 1 800 668-6868.
Al-Anon groups in the area: Arborg, Arborg Support Centre; Beausejour , Brokenhead Recreation Complex; Gimli/Winnipeg Beach, Winnipeg Beach United Church; Lac du Bonnet, LDB Health Centre; Lundar, Lutheran Church, 1st Ave.; Selkirk , St. Clements Church Hall; and Teulon, Hall beside the church,
Third Ave S.E.
